Unconscious transition

Early in 2018, I started feeling so tired. It took me a lot of energy even doing my daily stuff. My life became limited to work without I noticed it. I went back home and slept all afternoon then worked out a little bit then I went back to sleep again. I used to sleep 8 to 10 hours every day.

That year I made several trips out of the country. l was always exhausted every trip. After taking a long walk once, l apologized to my friends because it was almost impossible for me to stay awake after 10 pm. My long hours of sleep became a problem with my traveling friends because they could not understand why I needed to sleep so many hours. And to be honest, I could not understand it myself either, but I assumed because l had been working too much at that time.

In January of that year, my business manager left the company. l decided to take full charge of the operation instead of hiring someone else. As a result, l ended up working 10 hours a day. At the same time, we launched a new platform for our clients. Naturally, the business consumed all my energy. Including my employees, we made so many changes in a short period of time and we all were so stressed out.

With the months passing by, my health situation became worse. l was constantly tired, and my life was so limited. l reached the maximum point by the end of the year. In October, I went to Japan and from the day we arrived, I felt like I could not overcome the jet lag. Even with all my expectations to get to know that beautiful country, as soon as it was 6 p.m., I fell asleep and I could not stay awake. I constantly apologized to my friends. Literally, l went to bed and slept over 12 hours a day and that continued for 15 days while we were in Japan.

Likewise, especially in the morning, I started with nauseous, but l thought it caused because l was taking medicine to lose weight and it was part of the side effects. I asked the doctor and he confirmed that some patients experienced it.

In June 2019, l woke up in the middle of the night because l felt my hand became numb somehow. It was that strong enough to wake me up. At first, I thought it happened because of the way I was sleeping. But during that week, I suddenly started getting numbness on my hands and arms, too. And it continued for the next weeks and not only at night but also during the day while I was working at the office.

Within 4 months, I changed my prescription glasses 3 times. A couple of days after l renewed them, they already did not match with my eyesight. I did not understand what was happening, but I blamed the optician.

Between my extreme tiredness, nauseous, pain, arms and hands numbness, and my frequent back pain, I spent all my days like a zombie doing nothing. Once I was at home, I watched TV getting lost for hours, drinking a whole bottle of red wine. It was only the way to get rid of my pains and numbness at night, also it helped me not waking me up in the middle of the night constantly. The alcohol was my anesthesia.

Among all these symptoms. l felt like my mind was disconnected from my body and going somewhere else. I do not know where but definitely not with me. Without noticing, I completely lost the enjoyment of my life. My personality became so volatile and aggressive. In my despair, I thought my back pain is the worst issue, so I asked my friend to give me the reference of her orthopedist. In the past, she had the same symptoms as me and she had herniated disc surgery. Now she is perfect. Seeing her like that encouraged me to see a doctor because I was sick of being sick.

Before, I did not want to go to the doctor because I did not believe in them. I had the idea that they only want to make money from us. Clearly, I believed the only one who knows what happened with my body is me, myself. So, I have barely visited doctor offices. I do not have any medicines at my house. I have exercised and eaten healthy to deal with my back pain.